Taming Chaos Through Simplicity
my favorite power tool for ADHD management
Discovering ADHD Later in Life
I was 58 years old when I was diagnosed with ADHD. I read a few books on ADHD in women and let me tell ya… I found myself crying more than once because I could so relate. Especially when I learned ADHD can present as depression and anxiety.
And that is why I pursued getting properly evaluated, I’ve struggled with my mental health for years, thinking I was just an undisciplined fuck up. And then talk about running the gauntlet trying to find the right doctor! The first two shrinks I talked to wanted to prescribe anti-depressants and/or mood stabilizers and call it good, even after I told them medications have done little for me. Even when I told them, based on what I was learning, I strongly felt ADHD might be the driving force behind the struggles. But nooooooo. Try these pills, I was told.
I came out of the appointments hopping mad because I felt unheard. (I also suspect this is part of how women are not treated with the same seriousness as men.)
Finally, I went to an ADHD clinic. And yup. They heard me… and diagnosed me. Take that, shitty self-talk!
Holy cow! What a difference with proper medication. I no longer spend days running in circles and getting overwhelmed. I can actually focus and get things over the finish line with an ease I never thought possible.
Then there’s the abandoned projects. I have always been eager to start new projects, but those usually ended up on the wayside, abandoned because I’ve moved on to the next shiny object.
Learning about my neurodiversity has been hugely helpful and validating.
The Power of Simplicity
It explains my obsession with organizing at a young age. The home I grew up in was chaotic. Mom was the breadwinner and was like a single parent for many of my growing-up years. Dad suffered with alcoholism, so the brunt of, well, everything, fell to mom. Now add my six siblings to the picture and there you have it: a chaotic home.
Except for my room. It was a haven of peace for me. No clutter, bed made, etc. I truly believe my younger badass self knew I needed a calm environment.
Some of my earliest memories are being around eleven and organizing the pantry in our home. By the time I graduated high school and started college, I left home with a duffel bag and my guitar. That was all I wanted.
“Half the confusion in the world comes from not knowing how little we need.” ― Richard E. Byrd
How little do I really need? It was a game for me. I was a minimalist before minimalism was a thing. Actually, I think minimalism isn’t quite the right word.
I like to think of it as living with simplicity and intention.
Over the years, my philosophy of organizing has deepened. I used to joke that I was doing the Lord’s work as I hauled box after box into dumpsters.
Truth is, it is no joke. Parting with items that no longer serve us is good medicine.
How Do You Simplify?
Let’s start at the very beginning. A very good place to start. (*cue to Doe Re Mi*)
If only it were this easy. When your ADHD brain is spinning, the thought of simplifying is right up there with atom splitting on the difficulty scale.
The best place to start is with your home environment. Especially if your home is bursting at the seams and you dream of torching the complete kit and caboodle.
There is no magic formula and if someone tells you they’ve discovered the ONE HACK that will turn your home into a bastion of peace, they’re selling something. Understand that the clutter piles you’re struggling with didn’t happen overnight. Short of having a team of organizers helping you, decluttering doesn’t happen overnight either.
There are several tried and true approaches. I bet you’ve even tried a few.
Declutter ruthlessly. Create a place for everything. Minimize furniture and décor. Adopt a one-in, one-out rule.
Great stuff but if you have ADHD, merely looking at the approaches can be overwhelming. And overwhelm is the last thing you need you need more of.
When my kids were little, I remember the times where I needed to “make their world small” when they were overwhelmed. We adults are really no different, given the amount of noise and excess we are daily bombarded with. Where do you start?
You shrink your world and aim for simplicity. Start with baby steps. This requires putting on blinders so you can focus on just one area. Instead of getting overwhelmed by the kitchen, start with one drawer. Or one shelf in the pantry. But this is just scratching the surface.
It’s Not About Asceticism
The philosophy of simplicity is much deeper than trying to live a spartan life. It’s really about removing the meaningless to return to the meaningful. Because nothing is important when everything is important.
Ridding ourselves of excess stuff is just one part of simplifying. It’s also about reclaiming the time we fritter away on shit that just doesn’t matter. (Like spending Saturdays trying to clean out the garage. Again.)
This is why my oft repeated mantra is “Live simply, love deeply, throw out shit.” Being caught up in distractions and the consumer treadmill keeps us from things that truly matter.
I consider simplicity to be both a spiritual practice and a way to express civil disobedience (without jail time.) A spiritual practice because it keeps me on a peaceful path. And civil disobedience because it rejects the societal meme that acquisition is the key to happiness. To say nothing of how the rapacious appetite for more, more, more, endangers our very existence on this planet.
Such inward change is the most important part of creating any sustainable outward change.
For fellow ADHD’ers, the squirrels are many and the stakes are even higher. But the rewards are greater, me thinks. Instead of playing whack a mole with distraction after distraction, simplicity allows you focus and to unleash the creativity that comes packaged with neurodivergence.
Thoreau understood this, long before today’s insane level of distractions and consumerism.
Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.
What about you, dear reader? Are there some areas in your life that could benefit from a “less is more” approach? I would love to hear from you, drop a comment! And as always, thank you for reading!